Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
