Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
