I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
