Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My liver just broke up with me...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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