I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I love having hate sex.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
