i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize