You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
do nipples grow back?
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