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I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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