So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
