I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
