She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
