Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
