How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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