I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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