I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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