went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
