Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Let's get the cat blown out
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
