I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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