planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
