R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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