There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
