This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
