lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
