have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
