I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
