Screwed.edu
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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