At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woke up backwards on a recliner
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
