How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
