Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize