The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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