he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
