Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my shit smells like andre
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
