ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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