based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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