Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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