i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
