I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
