he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
