in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
