I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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