Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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