Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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