oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
