Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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