i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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