Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
