so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
