He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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