Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
