i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize