I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
