I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
