Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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