when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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