so explain again why im purple
no
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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