If i come over, it means nothing
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
