Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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