We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
