Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
