I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
