I must be too annoying 4 u.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize