Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
