i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this boner is exhausting
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like a drive thru vagina
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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