you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
