He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
