yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
