i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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