He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
