were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
