Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Princesses don't give blow jobs
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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