and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
