i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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