whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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